My Truck Has Been Impounded

Not by the law, mind you. By Public Storage.

The sign on the gate gives the hours of operation (6am – 9pm) and a sentence in smaller print below “Please leave by 9 p.m.” What it should say, in large, bold letters is, “IF YOU DON’T LEAVE BY 9 p.m. THE GATE WILL BE LOCKED AND YOU WILL BE TRAPPED INSIDE LIKE RATS ON A SINKING SHIP!”

So when I tried to leave about 9:20 p.m. my gate code doesn’t work and the light on the keypad blinks “Call the manager.” Except there is no manager on duty and the telephone number of the facility goes to voice mail. There’s no emergency contact number posted anywhere.

The only hint of a silver lining is that the facility is only about a mile from my apartment and it’s 60 degrees tonight instead of 35 degrees like it’s been the past few nights. So I had a nice stroll down a dark frontage road with no sidewalk.

My life is a comedy of errors.


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